I have difficulty forgiving others when the hurt is painful.  It is hard to let go of my pride and admit I am wrong. I like hanging on to hurt feelings so I can throw a pity party. The pain from past situations has faded over the years and I can’t believe some things bothered me.  I feel sometimes as if I have mastered to act of forgiveness, and then someone offends me again.  I let the pride over “how can they be that dumb to do this” and hurt over “how can they be this mean” come into my brain.  Once the emotions get going, I get all worked up over the situation…and seek food to make it better.

Then I am mad at myself for slipping again.  I have to forgive myself for slipping and wonder if God will forgive me…again.

God forgives us like a parent that won’t give up.  We think we have fallen too far, even for God to forgive.  His love and mercy for us is greater than we can imagine.  “…so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he moved our transgressions from us.”  Psalm 103:11-12 (New International Version, 2011) He not only forgives, but separates us from our mistake.  It is human to say “I forgive you” and still hold on to bitterness against the person.  True forgiveness happens for me when I can let go of the painful emotions.  That means I can see this person without being upset.  Sometimes I think it is okay to indulge in bitterness and dislike towards someone as long as I don’t show it to others.  The problem is others can see me acting negatively.  They can see the awkwardness in our conversations and feel the uneasiness around me.  So even if I keep the unforgiving spirit inside, it hurts me.  Negative emotions encourage me to overeat.  I have to forgive like God does.

I also must forgive myself for overeating.  The other day, I ate unhealthy first thing in the morning and could not quit snacking. My total food intake was not horrible, but I am not following my “only eat when hungry” plan. The only thing to do is ask God for forgiveness, and then forgive myself.  Now I can relax in the arms of my loving Father who loves and forgives me. Knowing I have a God this loving helps me to stay focused on Him instead of food.