God has delivered me from destructive eating habits, but I am still not perfect. Last night, I thought I was hungry and had a bedtime snack. I broke my streak of not eating after dinner for three weeks.
The positive is that this snack was just one Pop Tart and about four ounces of yogurt. The negative is this is extra food my body did not need. This morning my stomach feels sour and is rumbling, trying to process this excess.
I have several choices about what to do next. I can try and justify my slip and tell myself I am so much better that I had been before. Before, I would have not stopped until I had at least another Pop Tart and some cookies. I say “some cookies” because these were times I did not want to know how much I actually ate. Another choice is to dive into guilt and worry that I am never going to reach my weight loss goal. With both of these options, I will continue overeating until my pants no longer zip. Instead, I will lean on God for both forgiveness and guidance today. Psalm 86:5 is “O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.” (Holy Bible, New Living Translation, 1996, 2004, 2007) God desires that I call out to him for forgiveness. He forgives a sincere heart that is willing to change and leave the wrongdoing behind. I also need to forgive myself to avoid guilt. Guilt does nothing to motivate me to not overeat; instead it leads me to believe that I have blown it and might as well continue to indulge. When I trust in God’s forgiveness, He gives me the strength to only eat food my body needs.
In the past, I would cry out to God after I realized I had blown it. Today, I have learned to ask for help when the urge to overeat comes. God is so faithful, that when I ask for help he delivers. He gives me the strength to not dig through my pantry for sweets. Instead, He encourages me to meditate on verses that strengthen me. I am satisfied when I lean on Him since He fills my spiritual needs, unlike food which never satisfied me.